i can not think of literally a single thing that would not be made better in this country by health care and mental health being free to everyone

i'm mad. i have friends hurting. and there's nothing i can do about it. i can barely even listen anymore to people in pain because it overwhelms me so quickly. and i'm forced me to live with knowing how much pain i can't actually help past just getting upset about it

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like not to be like "lol im an empath" but man, i feel like i was so much better at helping people when i was depressed, and now that i'm in a somewhat better place nowadays, it's like i can't lift others up with me.

i'm just in such a different place now and negativity and people needing help just brings me down so quickly to feeling awful myself, it's almost like a self-care thing that i try not to put myself in situations where like that- but how does that read?

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"i can't take hearing about people suffering and i have the privilege of removing myself from that suffering, so for self-care reasons so that i can maintain my happy and now mostly unaffected lifestyle, i must avoid knowing the pain of others"

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idk. i've gone through what feels like a lot and was extremely depressed for the majority of my childhood up until like age 20. i'm exhausted by sadness now.

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